Chapter I

“Coffee, sunshine, and good music. This is the life,” I thought to myself as I sat at my kitchen table listening to Jose Gonzalez and sipping coffee. The open window allowed the March sun to warm my skin.

“Jose again Lyla?” Jasmine, my roommate and best friend since freshman year of college had emerged from her room wearing an oversized t-shirt and soffes. Her black hair was fixed into a long braid down her back.

“What can I say? I’m on a kick,” I stated as I picked up my coffee to take another sip. Jasmine smiled and walked over to the coffee maker to make her favorite hazelnut coffee.  “Did you see that Jose is playing at Bonnaroo?”

“Yes! Jasmine please, please, please go with me!”

“Lyla we talked about this! I would absolutely love to go but… I can’t afford that. And neither can you.”

“I know, I know.” I sighed.

“Let’s be responsible adults.”

“But I don’t want to be a responsible adult,” I pouted as I took another sip of my coffee.

 “Me neither. But we own businesses now, come on. We have no choice.” I admired Jasmines responsible and driven nature. Without her I would not have been able to open my own business at all. I don’t know what I would do without her in my life to guide me through logic and reason. If it were up to me my business would be in the dumps.

So what are you doing with Landon tonight?” Jasmine asked.

“Oh, probably just going to Nomads again.” It was Thursday night, Landon and I’s date night and Nomads was our favorite casual restaurant. “Why do I even ask?” Jasmine stated while grabbing a coffee mug from the cupboard. “He’s so predictable,” I laughed.

“I’m going to head downstairs. I have a new client today in an hour and I want to make sure I’m prepared.” I took the last sip of my coffee before heading to the sink.

“Oh yeah! I hope that goes well!” Jasmine stated, turning towards me. I’ll be down at the café in about twenty minutes.” I smiled at my encouraging friend. “Yeah, I hope it goes well too. The first session is always pretty nerve-wracking,” I said as I began gathering my stuff to head out the door. “Of course it is,” Jasmine stated. I smiled at her as I opened the door to leave. “You’ll be great!” I heard Jasmine shout just as the door closed behind her. I smiled again and walked swiftly down the steps, which led straight to a small area with two doors, one on each side. To the right was Sun and Moon Café, the coffee shop owned by Jasmine. I turned left and went through the door labeled “Wellspring: Music Lessons and Music Therapy Services” Which led to my music therapy and music lessons studio. “Thank you God, for helping me live my dream.” I promised myself I would thank God each time I walked into my studio.

My dream since college had always been to work for myself as a music therapist and run a lessons studio. Living upstairs with my best friend who owned the coffee shop next door was just a huge bonus. It was almost like God went above and beyond my dream and made it even better than I even possibly could have imagined. Why He, the creator of the universe would do that for me, I have no idea.

I walked into my office and sat at my desk. My office was a decent size, big enough to hold a patient and do a session. It was painted a beautiful rust color and contained a multitude of plants. I had two windows, which I loved because of how much the natural light brightened the room. Though I wasn’t into psychoanalysis, a framed Rorschach inkblot was hanging on the wall for effect. A guitar sat in the corner of the room and a filing cabinet full of song lyrics, guitar chords, and session plans sat next to it against the wall. I took out my new patients file from the bottom drawer of my desk and thumbed through the papers, trying to figure out the best way to assess the patient and build rapport. I noticed that the patient was referred to music therapy by her counselor because of her love for music and her timidity. I read on. “Kimberly Fern. Thirteen years old. Depression, Bulimia, history of Selective Mutism. Wow.” I felt my heart surge with sadness and compassion for the young girl. After I finished reading through her file, I placed it on my desk and began preparing my papers for the interview and assessment.

Knock knock knock. I heard a light knock on the open door to my office and swiveled in my chair. There I saw a young girl with a pixie cut wearing a “The Neighbourhood” t-shirt and standing next to a middle aged woman, probably her mother. I noticed the young girl had a birth mark in the shape of a deformed heart on her left jawline which for some reason I thought made her look rather beautiful. As soon as she noticed my glance, she took her hand and self-consciously rubbed her face.

            “Sorry, I guess we’re pretty early,” The older woman stated with a slight smile.

“No, no it’s perfectly fine! We can start early.” I replied, standing up to introduce myself. “I’m Ms. Lyla Stai. You can just call me Lyla.” I always preferred casual to professional.

“Tracy Fern. Kimberly’s mom,” The woman stated as she shook my hand. “And this is Kimberly.” Tracy looked down and smiled at her daughter. Kimberly smiled shyly, not making eye contact with me. I could immediately see myself in Kimberly. Her quiet disposition, her soft eyes through which her sensitive soul shined, and of course her t-shirt. “Hi Kimberly.” I smiled and offered my hand for a handshake. Kimberly reached out and took it. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said. “Come on into my humble abode!” I stopped at the door and motioned for Tracy and Kimberly to enter my office, trying to make them as comfortable as possible. “You can have a seat right on those two chairs,” I stated as I closed the door. I picked up my clipboard from my desk and sat in the chair facing the pair. “Now Kimberly, I have just a few basic questions to ask you both together, then I’ll ask your mother to leave and we’ll resume the rest of the session just the two of us. How does that sound?” Tracy replied, “sounds great,” and Kimberly simply nodded. “Before I start, how much do you know about music therapy?”

“Kimberly’s counselor briefly explained it to us, but that’s about it.”

“Great. Well basically I use music to reach therapeutic goals. It will be like a normal counseling session with a counselor but it’ll be more fun!” I winked at Kimberly and she smiled shyly. “So it’s really great for helping individuals express their feelings who may not be as verbal or comfortable expressing themselves just through talking. It might be easier to connect through the music.

“Wow, great. That sounds perfect for Kimberly!” Tracy placed her hand lovingly on Kimberly’s back. Kimberly continued looking downwards, but I could see a faint glimmer in her eye. I imagined all the thoughts that made themselves at home in that head. I knew there were many.

I went through the questions on my clipboard, jotting down a few notes here and there. They were both compliant throughout, though Kimberly was very quiet and Tracy spoke mostly for her daughter. After the first half of the session was over, it was time for me to speak to Kimberly alone.

“So Kimberly. I understand you have been diagnosed with depression and bulimia, as we talked about.” Kimberly nodded shyly. “I want to ask you how comfortable you feel talking to your mother about all of this?”

“I don’t know. Well, she… knows I’m sad. She knows I have depression.” Kimberly’s eyes darted everywhere in the room but my eyes. “She knows I have bulimia too.”

“How much do you talk to her about it though?

“Not much I guess. I think she doesn’t understand. I think she just thinks I’m sad.”

“Are you?”

Kimberly nodded.

“Is it sadness, or is it emptiness? Or maybe both?”

Kimberly looked into the distance. I could see something I said reached into her.

“Both, I guess.” She looked down at her wrists to play with her bracelets. “A nervous habit,” I noted.

“Okay. I’m going to just ask you a little bit about your favorite music and activities and things like that, alright?” Kimberly nodded. I went through my initial music therapy assessment and Kimberly responded well, though particularly well, I noticed, to questions about her favorite music. She was involved in choir at school and took piano lessons, which also made her light up when she spoke of it. I became increasingly excited to work with Kimberly the more I spoke with her. I knew I just couldn’t fail her and I knew she would enjoy our sessions together. She was exactly the type of patient I loved to do my therapy with because there was something about her that made me feel like I was looking in a mirror.